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the more i care about something, the worse i make it becomes,

i remember when i was small, i have a nice pen, but i care for it so much, i rather let my sister had it in place of me so that i won't spoil it later.....well, i dun get to use the pen

it seems like whenever i care too much for something, i cant be myself, and when i'm not being myself, i make things worse.....

if u see me good at things, dun praise me, i just simply dun care .....
if u see me not good at things, plz forgive me to care ..........

how i wish i can care for nothing from now on......then i would good in anythings.....

should i be happy with things that i'm good at? i cant coz i dun care about those things, i dun appreciate
should i dun care about things that i'm not good at? i cant too, coz i care for those things.....i appreciate.....

i just get things that i dun wan, and i cant get the things that i wan...

some feelings are complicated....becoz u dunno how u feel....

it's simple to tell if u r happy or sad or disappointed or embarrassed or proud or feeling not confident or jealous or anger or hate or miserable or pathetic or bored or what so ever.....

but wat if u r happy and sad and disappointed and embarrassed and proud and feeling not confident and jealous and anger and hate and miserable and pathetic and bored and what so ever?

all 'campur' together u get a simple term = emo

a very Complicated kinda Emo......

sometimes, emo can be cured by telling ur frenz about the root of ur emo......if u can identify it.....
sometimes, even if u can identify it, u cant tell ur frenz, becoz some problem cant be solved by telling others....
sometimes, it can be worse if u tell that problem to others....
sometimes, even u can solve a problem by telling ur frenz...u cant also.....becoz sadly to say, in real, we dun have real fren.....
sometimes , even if u have real fren, u dun have real problem....coz it's all ur imagination
sometimes, even if u have real fren and real problem.....it's not their problem, they cant help u .......
sometimes, even if they can help u ......they help u to make it worse........
coz problems are 'human-specific' ..... different medicine for different people with different illness....

whining and complaining cant help to solve my problem......but i'm still doing it.....that's one of my problems......
the worst.....perhaps.....i dun have any problem.....it's all my imaginations.....which stemmed from my hard wroking brain which never stops thinking....thinking ....and thinking......intentionally or unintentionally......
how nice if i can programme my brain.......

if(thinking == too much)
{
sleep.execute();
}
else if (thinking >= too much)
{
do
{
bang.execute(head, wall); // function to bang the first parameter towards the second parameter
bang.impact++;
} while (thinking >= too much);
}

if u dun understand the codes above......u can come consult me......consultation fees are negotiable......

since the last time i update this blog, i still see dinosaur pass by my window......i better update a post in english now before english cease to exist .....

so, the story goes like this, after dinner at Kentut-ki Fat Chicken with my frenx......we mah drive back lo.....then fren A said fren B hutang him a lot of males (meals)....coz she promise to belanja makan but din belanja .....then i ask him lo.....why only males? no females? not funny hor....lame a bit..... but nvm.....then we dragged the topic to other stuffs.....and we discovered some surprizing facts .....

fact 1 ...... male undergraduate student is mahasiswa and female is mahasiswi right? so this is fact 1 which we derived fact 2 and fact 3.....

fact 2.......we , the guys can go to girls blocks anytime we want....coz those blocks are ours.......coz u cant find any sign board in UTP which states......Desasiswi.......all of those sign board states .....Desasiswa......so those are guys punya.....gals dun have blocks .....very sorry to tell ya....

fact 3........chiwawa is male......female? chiwawi lo........

until next time......bye

something i wish i can blog about.....but it is too sensitive.....and i dun wish to share with people......coz people would judge, comment, or even criticize......something is better to just keep to urself..........blog is really a good way to express oneself.......but not all blog posts should make it to 'Publish Post' option.......some is just nice to make it to 'Save Now' option........at least i write out somewhere ........

Zoom Zooom Zooooom..................all these days are quite routine too.....eat sleep and movie.....online and worry about fyp (btw, worry only.....) and also went to medical daily check up......

fun thing is , i have to wait very long everyday to get my turn....during the check up.......then i made this......

if u happen to found this next week ...... take a picture, post in ur blog.....and u will be blessed for health and immunity against H1N1..........(this is how stupid surpertitious ritual begins.....well if u r bored and as Fei as me, just do it!)

when i get released today...........oh ya.....i'm out d.....on a mission, virus spreading spree......
well....i get back to my room.....i saw nothing.....i mean i was expecting to see something.....well.....no sign of chemical spray, no water, no powder......absolutely like how i left it ......so i asked my friend....

me: wei, how come nothing?
fren: got....do u notice a sticker on ur door, green one, with a tick on it....
me: huh? so high tech!!! virus nowadays afraid of green sticker with a tick?!!!
fren: that means ur room has been disinfected la.....

gonna zoom a bit here coz these past few days is quite nothing special....i must say...

beside that the needle on my hand had been removed.....

....go to clinic everyday for daily checking.....
.....eat ......eat .....eat ....sleep.........surf net......surf net.....1 movie.....2 movies.....3 movies.........eat again.......sleep......nap....eat medicine.......surf net.......worry about fyp ............walk here......walk there......worry about fyp again..........music..........eat .......nap..........movies again.........

the fun part is....we need not to lock our room.....at first i dunno why.....later....i have found myself a more interesting reason....coz nobody would dare to steal from us!
why? coz we are freaking quarantined......who wanna get infected? cool....like a curse on the firaun tomb....
some more, on every door, there is paper stating who stays here and what is the condition....something like M, S and dunno what.....after some observation , my instinct tells me M is more severe and i got an M on my paper.....means i super sized my curse ....hehehehe

another interesting scene is that .....one night i passed by the common room which has tv in it......a group of around 5 people were gathered there watching tv.....as we all know....we are all quarantine here because of showing symptoms of H1N1....like fever ....ironically, the tv was showing them the advertisement of Panadol ActiveFast.....seeing the scene .....it's very ironic

yesterday back to my room to take something......the whole house was like post war condition......nobody....nothing.....i take some of my stuffs.....keep some of my stuffs .....coz i heard they gonna spray something to disinfect the area.....some says it's water based chemical...some said it's powder.....i dunno......but i know the disinfection action on v5 is on wednesday.....

it has been a long time since my last update, so, i would like to take this chance to update more

the story goes like this, on tuesday, out of the blue, i wake up from an afternoon nap finding my head pain until wanna explode.....still fighting it and reassuring myself that i have not infected by H1N1....i live my tuesday like normal....
the next morning i wake up looking good, no headache but coughing my lung out......i decided to take my day off.......with no headache......i insist that i need not to pay clinic a visit.....at night, the fever which i thought had long sailed away from me suddenly make a U turn and come back to me and my cough got worse and i almost cough my lung + liver + intestine + whatever out.....
so the next day, which is today, under the social pressure of my housemate and roommate, i drag my body to the clinic ........
apa lagi? quarantine lo.....
waited from 9am until around 1 something in the afternoon, then only it's my turn.....u can figure out how many patients are there....
so.....doctor asked me questions , i answered honestly....take the temperature .....Kaboom !!! 40 degree?!!!
OMG.....then doctor gave me this....
2 packs of dunno what ....drip into me....
so then someone sent me to v6 for quarantine lo......i could not go back to pack my stuffs too....thanks to roommate.....i got all the stuffs here to keep me survive.....lol....of coz need to thank my lauban too for bringing me oat meal and crackers for tahan the mamak addict deep at night.....

so, the situation here is like this.....3 meals per day....so far i ate dinner d.....nasi goreng kampung + teh o + apple satu biji + tiger chocolate biscuit.....
free flow of mesra mineral water.....
free flow of assorted julie's biscuit....
tv in common room...
washing machine....still haven try, dunno can work or not...
last but not least.....24/7 pak guard security system......
even the bed here is thicker than v5.......view nicer......got trees , monkeys and wind....

life is so coincident if we notice the coincidence ..... my first sem in utp was in a block named duyung.....when old v5 renovated , duyung stays while many other blocks had been demolished ....now my final sem, i have come back to stay in this very block again......

many frens have called me, wish me speedy recovery.....thanks....some worried that i might get bored .....i mean.....halo?!.....before they quarantine me.....i am an otaku......after they quarantine me.....i am a quarantined otaku....what difference does it make? as long i have laptop and internet access.....my world is completed....

behold! in the coming 1 week , i would post a series of updates regarding the the life of Quarantino-the insider's view....stay tuned